Ranking the Spiders in Edge of Spider-Verse

Edge of Spider-Verse is a Marvel Comic Series based on a bunch of different incarnations of Spider-Man. Here I have compiled a list of the Spider-heroes ranked on who deserves to be Spider-Man the most. The main criteria I based this list off were: powers, costume, and the alter-ego beneath the mask.

5. SP//dr

Peni Parker, a young Japanese girl with no powers and no parents. The destiny is strong in this one. Her father (presumably Peter Parker) was the SP//dr until he died. Aunt May and Uncle Ben adopt Peni and tell her that she is the only one that can control the SP//dr because of psychic spider-powers. I would argue that the SP//dr is a lot closer to being an Iron Man than a Spider-Man. It is a suit of armor that is controlled by a spider that is controlled by Peni.

The design of the SP//dr is visually cool to look at but it could have been anyone.

The Universe is similar in a lot of ways to the regular Marvel Universe with a battle between Spider-Droid (I can't keep typing SP//dr) and Mysterio and a Marvel Team-Up with a very cool looking Daredevil. 

The Universe would be cool to explore further but Peni Parker sucks. She was chosen by destiny to control a robot. Why can't they just build a different crime-fighting robot and have anyone but a Japanese school-girl pilot it? Peni makes absolutely no choices in her life, people tell her to be Spider-Man and she does it. Her villains could tell her to throw herself off a bridge and she would do it. I am not saying it was a bad story, it was really good, but Peni is the worst of the Spiders introduced in Edge of Spider-Verse.

4. I Walked with a Spider

What I like about Patton Parnell is that he is an active character. He accomplishes his goals as soon as they become goals. He gets stuff done. What I don't like about Patton is that he is a psycho. Put that guy down.

He gets bitten by a spider and becomes an evil Spider-Man. He keeps his prey preserved in webbing around his basement and eats them when he is hungry. The guy is a freak and is the furthest a Spider can be from being a hero.

But he makes his own choices and actually has powers, so that puts him ahead of Peni.

3. Spider-Man Noir

Spider-Man Noir is such a cool guy. It looks like he put close to zero effort into his costume and that fits his personality. It's dark and that allows him to not draw attention to himself (cougheveryotherSpider-Mancough) and he has a pistol holster. The Peter Parker of Spider-Man Noir is no Super Genius and he still has more sense than most. By having a gun he makes his job that much easier. Why walk up to a Super Villain and punch him when you can just shoot him?

Spidey-Noir still has a hero's heart and cares about his family and doing the right thing. He knows he has to show responsibility without having to take responsibility for everything. 

2. Gwen Stacey: Spider-Woman

 While Spider-Gwen is not the highest ranked Spider in this list, her story has easily been the highlight of Spider-Verse.

Spider-Gwen got bitten by the spider that normally bites Peter Parker. Insecure about being a whiny-bitch, Peter Parker turns himself into The Lizard. Spider-Gwen kills Lizard-Parker and learns a valuable lesson in responsibility, which is... don't kill people? I guess. Overall I like Spider-Gwen's transition from using her powers for fame to using them for heroics. By her killing Lizard-Parker it gives her a much more active role compared to the traditional story. You feel for Gwen because she made the mistake, she didn't let the mistake happen, and she struggles to deal with it. It's awesome.

Spider-Gwen's costume is also amazing. It is a derivative of the traditional Spider-Man costume but it has so much that is unique. The black and white separate her from most other Spiders. Her costume isn't sexualised, you can tell she has boobs but the attention is never drawn to them.

Gwen is truly deserving of being a Spider-Man and her recently announced ongoing series is proof that a lot of people feel the same way.

1. Aaron Aikman: The Spider-Man

Aaron Aikman is a self-made Spider-Man. In every other universe Peter Parker is the Spider-Man. If you were in a comic book and you were named Peter Parker (or a derivative) you could bet that you would be Spider-Man or at least be related to one. Aaron Aikman goes against destiny and makes himself Spider-Man. Aikman is a geneticist that was researching the healing properties of insect DNA and injected himself with some science magic and gained spider-powers. He also invented his own web-shooters, spider-stinger and rocket boots. In the three years Aikman has been Spider-Man he has been continuously refining his armor, weapons and accessories.

The Spider-Man lives in a futuristic version of the 1960's. This can be seen in the style of dress as well as The Spider-Man's Beatles do. The villains in this issue have never been seen as Spider-Man villains in other universes before either. The world is brand new with the only link to other Marvel Universes being that there is a Spider-Man.

Aikman is more deserving of the Spider-Mantle than any other Spider-Man in Edge of Spider-Verse. He continuously tried to better the way he combats crime as well as not just being handed the Spider-Man title from destiny. 

---------------

Disagree? Good, that means you are thinking about it. Subscribe to this blog for more on Spider-Man and comics coming in the coming days or weeks. 

Guardians of the Galaxy Pinball Review (Android)

A couple of days ago I bit the silver bullet used to kill werewolves and I paid $3 for the Avengers Pinball and The Guardians of the Galaxy Pinball. This is big for me. I would rather spend $70 on a PS3 game than $3 on a mobile device.

I bought the game after seeing the movie, which was amazing (that's my review, 4.75 stars), and seeing this article, I didn't read the article. But I did read the title, 'Guardians of the Galaxy Pinball may be best table yet'. And boy did that title get me intrigued. I bought the Marvel Pinball App for $1 and it came with The Avengers table, I had to fork out another $2 for the Guardians table. It is worth noting that as of the time of writing this Marvel Pinball is free on iOS.

Now I have played a few pinball machines in my time, my father was a Pinball Wizard and my mother a Pinball Queen so I spent a lot of time playing them as a child. The only other digital pinball I played was Pokemon Pinball on the Gameboy Color, and that sucked major balls compared to the real thing. Shit I also played Sonic Spinball, but that is more of a spinball than a pinball so it might not count.

So how do the Marvel App Pinballs hold up compared to other digital titles I have played? It blows them out of the park. They look, sound, and feel exactly like a real table. Obviously they are smaller, and lighter, and portable; but other than that they are a true recreation of actual pinballs at a tiny fraction of the price.

While the Guardians of the Galaxy table is really good, and definitely worth the extra $2 there are some noticeable problems. The game starts with a Multiball, all the balls in the table come out at once and you muck around with them for a minute, this minute doesn't seem to affect the score too much, the highest I got from it was 2.2 million points. After the minute-multiball-mania, Peter Quill ( GuardianOfTheGalaxyMan) says that he needs his 70s inspired music and it is your job to hit a ball that launches at you into a specific ramp. This will net you an easy 5 million point headstart if you can land it. As well as the 5 million points you are also treated to a 10 second trailer with the title of the movie flying in space, it is terrible and takes away from the flow.

If you are trying for a high score you will need to repeat the minigame every time, all up it takes about a minute and a half, just to start a new game. It may be fun a few times, or every now and then but you could honestly just leave your phone on the desk until the real game starts and not really be penalised for it.

There are these cartoon figures littered around the table and they will dance around and spout typical pinball one-liners. Overall they add a layer to the game that could not exist on an actual table but there are certain point when they can get distracting. For example there is a skill game that has Peter Quill and Ronan (AntiGuardianOfTheGalaxyMan) shooting plasma at each other. Ronan also shoots plasma at your ball when he wants to vaporise it. It's fine if he wants to vaporise my ball, it's distracting when he wants to vaporise Peter Quill and it looks like it vaporises my ball. I have lost my ball because I thought it got vaporised only for it to fall down the guts of the table.

Those are my only two complaints. The stupid long intro, and the sometimes distracting nature of the cartoons.

I have spent the last three days playing this game. My thumbs are worn down and blistered from playing the game too much. I have probably racked up about 14 hours between the 3 tables I have. It is most definitely a fun game.

The ball feels like a ball, you never find yourself cursing the game for unfairly putting the ball in dire situations. You are always in control.

The music in the game is heavily inspired from 70s rock and it sounds amazing. It fits the tone of the movie by not being overly dramatic and by just being fun. It's the song in the trailer above if you want to hear it for yourself.

The voice-acting can get a little repetitive but the characters all have voices true to their movie counterparts. Quill will deliver one-liners differently than his movie counterpart but sticks to the tone. Groot is amazing, whatever he says in certain situations is exactly what he would say in a similar situation in the movie. Rocket, Drax and Ronan are perfect, Quill and Groot are obviously different voice actors, but it is a little harder to tell with Rocket, Drax and Ronan. Gamora was jibbed in this game though. She is told to wait in the ship at the start of the game, she tells Quill to leave his music behind and she sounds exactly like Peggy from Married With Children, otherwise she has no other lines in the game. Maybe a couple on her mini-pinball, but nothing worth remembering.

An amazing addition to this game are the Leaderboards. In the beginning (two days ago) I was always trying to improve my score, just for the sake of beating my score. Now I look at the scores of the world. Currently I am ranked 22nd in the world. It's a great feeling and now that I know I am competing against the world I can easily improve my score again.

The game is great despite its flaws. It is better value than buying a real pinball, it is better value than putting dollar coins into a pinball at the pub. So far it has cost me 30 cents for every hour I have played and the more I play it the better the value will be. If you are a fan of the old brick and mortar pinballs I recommend buying the game. If you hate digital pinballs, maybe don't buy it. If you think you will get your moneys worth out of it then you should definitely buy it. I bought it and I had no idea I was going to enjoy it so much. As a game I would give it 6/10, as a pinball I would give it 8.5 out of 10.

The Widespread uses of Multimedia Journalism

How common is multimedia journalism in the media I consume?

I am a student in his early-twenties, I live, breathe and eat electricity. What’s a newspaper? Newspapers are those dry magazines that used to be delivered daily so my parents could read their horoscopes and do the crosswords. They did, and still do, provide a recount of what happened the day before. If something happened on the 20^th of May you could read about it on the 21^st of May. Without an exceptional reason I would never read a newspaper. I would absolutely never pay for a newspaper, even with an exceptional reason.

I would subscribe to the Daily Bugle

How about television? Kids these days love television, right? When I was a little fat kid I had the television guide memorised. The television guide was actually in the newspaper, I’m not sure if it still is. The cartoons finished at 5.30pm on Channel 2, and then I would switch to the Channel 10 news to fill the void before The Simpsons started. But it isn’t the 90s anymore, why would I watch television? Everyone and his dog are trying to sell something to me and my dog. I live in the future, I’m not going to wait around until 5.30pm to find out something that happened at 4pm, why would I want to be an hour and a half behind the latest stories as well as sit through 10 minutes of advertisements?

I’m an iBoy. If something happens in Bulgaria I know about it instantly. As people we are given the gift of Government-level surveillance. The Australian Government wants to censor information; they don’t want a particular story getting out to the citizens? Have fun with that, because I read it on Reddit 3 hours ago. Multimedia journalism isn’t just widespread in the media I consume; the media I consume IS multimedia journalism. Traditional journalists get the same raw information that I get, I’m not special; I am one of billions.

Can multimedia journalism be structured in a linear fashion using multiple elements? It can, but why would it limit itself? If you read a multimedia story you are given the privilege to find out opposing information and judge it for yourself, you can watch video evidence of the story, you can see hundreds of pictures; each speaking a thousand words. A linear story? You would have to skip every hyperlink, not follow videos to find similar information, and not look up related articles. There are no doubt many linear journalistic stories on the Internet, but how is that special? It isn’t. It is an underuse of the technologies available. If people wanted linear storytelling then go watch the television or go read a newspaper.  

Superhero TV Shows VS Movies

Credit where credit is due. Inspiration for this post comes from IGN, and also I have been watching a fuckload of Arrow. Full disclaimer, I love Superhero Movies. I've blogged on all the recent comic book movies. The aim of this blog is to present the pros and cons of the movies and the shows.

Character Development

In any of the Spider-Man movies only a couple of people develop over the show. Peter Parker goes from nerdy highschooler to a Spider-themed Superhero. His antagonist will go from good guy to bad guy, sometimes back to a good guy. His aunt will get kidnapped and give hints that she knows Pete is Spider-man. Most superhero movies will have similar characters and develop them. 

But if you watch Arrow. If you watch fucking Arrow. Then you see the most ridiculous amount of character development for a superhero and his supporting cast. I'd even say the most out of any screened-superhero. For the first couple of episodes I hated Oliver Queen. I thought I had seen enough superhero movies to know that if I hated the protagonist not much would change my mind. But fuck me was I wrong. Oliver Queen is the man, he gets shit done. He has flaws and he recognizes them, and it happens over a believable length of time. 

World Building

If a Superhero has more than one villain appear at a time it is often criticized as been overcrowded. The Avengers worked so well because every major character had already been introduced. In a movie the audience expects to be entertained for the whole movie, and justifiably so, the filmmakers don't have the time to flesh out every character and introduce new ones in a single movie. Whereas a television show has nothing but time to introduce characters and develop their motives and relations. Over two seasons of Arrow, Oliver Queen has fucked like 200 girls (198 more than Peter Parker) and has 50 villains (45 more than all the Movie Avengers combined). 

There are so many secret societies running around in Arrow that it is hard to keep track of. Sure there are many alluded to in the Marvel Movies and some even brought to the forefront, but Arrow does a lot more with them albeit over a longer stretch of time. Movies barely scratch the surface of the source material, the first Thor barely showed any of Valhalla and over 5 Spider-Man movies we can't see anything as great as a Spider-Man Nickelodeon cartoon.

Actually Superheroes

What makes a hero a hero? How many times do you have to save the world to be considered a superhero? In the movies Tony Stark defeats a bigger Tony Stark to be considered a superhero. Spider-Man fights a Lizard-Man and is considered a superhero. Captain America defeats Red Hitler and is considered the world's first superhero. That is one guy, until the next movie. I would like to believe that in between movies these heroes are fighting other villains, but the movies keep telling us that nothing new has happened in a length of time. Spider-Man didn't gain any new enemies between the Lizard and Electro. In a television show you see the day to day lives of a superhero. And every day he is fighting some new guy with powers, or making a new friend. You see the inner workings of a superhero in a superworld.

Movies have their place. They are huge budget escapes with high stakes. Big events. Fun popcorn time. Large water coke with ice please. Deep-fried peppermint choctop. They are easy to see, you can see them with friends that barely care about the source material and every movie is different. TV shows require a lot more time and energy but the payoff is greater, even if the reward isn't equal to the time invested.

Get pumped for the Daredevil TV Show coming out.

---

I have a Twitter, so follow me or else : @KrisCreedYo

Superior Spider-Man Discussion

What day is it? The 17th of April? No. No. Get excited. It's fucking Spider-Man day.

Why is it Spider-Man day? Because the second Amazing Spider-Man movie comes out today? Yeah, I guess so. But also. Wrong. Today the final issue of Superior Spider-Man comes out. Man am I pumped. I'm going to buy this bad boy first thing in the morning.

This blog is going to be broken up into two sections. This section, which is sort of an intro-y section and the next section, which is me going on about how great Superior Spider-Man is.

To say I was excited would be a statement.

Dan Slott didn't get me into Spider-Man, that honor goes to Brian Michael Bendis with his Ultimate Spider-Man. But when Peter Parker died I swapped right on over to Amazing with his Big Time run. It was amazing. There was enough of a backlog for me to read up to #698 to get current on Spider-Man and then disaster struck. Peter Parker was dying. For me, Peter Parker was dying again. And I relate to Peter Parker, because everyone does, that's his character. A relatable guy with spider-powers. I just stopped reading Ultimate because Peter Parker was dead and now I had to stop reading Amazing because Peter Parker was dead. And Dr.Octopus was taking over. That fat guy with the stilts for hands. But fuck me swinging. Web swinging. Spider-Ock was awesome. He was a completely different Spider-Man to Peter and he kept it fresh.

It wouldn't be a Spider-Man Day without some music.

Spiderpus would kickass, take names then kick some more ass. He was organised. He protected the whole city, albeit in a totalitarian fashion, but he set out to do what he believed needed to be done to preserve Peter's legacy. And he made friends and enemies and he started having sex with a midget. Spiderpus was very open-minded, and that is what I expect from a super-hero. I think her name was Anne-Marie, which is more creative than Mary Jane. Just.

And he gave himself more powers. He redesigned the spider-suit to give him like, extra vision powers and he had octopus tentacles come out of his back. And he had henchmen and spider-bots and giant spider-bots. He launched an assault on Shadowland, the most powerful organised crime land in the Universe and he barely broke a sweat. He saved lives using synergy and proactivity. He even started a Spider-Man Incorporated.

I know it sounds like I'm taking the piss out of the comic. I am a little bit. But I love it. It is the first series that I have read the entirety of it's run as it came out. As amazing as Amazing Spider-Man was this series is more amazing (can't think of a better word). If you haven't read this series because it has a fat octopus-man in the body of a skinny spider-man then you are doing yourself a huge injustice. As it stands this is one of my favourite comic book series of all time.

It is also the only comic I have ever gotten signed by it's writer. Thank you Dan Slott for making this.

---

Follow me on Twitter if you want to talk Spider-Man- @KrisCreedYo

Captain America: Winter Soldier Aussie Thoughts

G'day mate. You've been hurt before. It's ok now. The first Captain America movie was beloved by a lot of people. Those people were Americans. Some other people may have liked it but it was Captain Stars & Stripes the Amazing Patriot VS Nazis. The movie was probably fine I, like all my friends, fell asleep watching it. I still went on movie discussion forums and all I saw was praise for the first Captain America movie. I have since chalked this up to patriotism.

So when the reviews for the second Captain America movie started rolling in positively I had to critically think whether it was going to be a good movie or not. The positive reviews could have been American propaganda for all I knew and expected. Surprisingly though, Winter Soldier was amazing.

The movie expands on the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Not everything is as it seems, which is great for a 70's style action spy thriller modern superhero movie epic. There is corruption within SHIELD and Captain America doesn't know who he can trust, so he trusts the first person he meets after being told not to trust anyone and also he trusts the person he ran past at the beginning of the movie. It is still really cool though.

Comic elements are made more apparent in this movie than the previous Iron Mans and Captain America. Not everything is cemented in reality, thus making the movie a lot more fun than previous movies. The Triskelion from the Ultimate Comics makes an appearance and is moved to Washington DC from New York. Everything makes sense in this movie. Corruption. Super Villains.

This movie could have easily been Agents of SHIELD: The Movie. The plot is SHIELD centric, the villains are villains of SHIELD more than Captain America, though the titular villain does have a lot in common with Cap.

This photo would have worked better in my Zombie Apocalypse/Captain America blog

The casting was perfect. Chris Evans nailed Captain America moreso than the previous movies. Scarlett Johanson provided more depth to the Black Widow. Samuel L Jackson showed Nick Fury as more than the all-knowing badass that he has been depicted as. GHB had an amazing cameo as Batroc the Leaper. Holy Fuck The Winter Soldier was a beast, he was the Terminator mixed with Robocop mixed with Captain America, massive beast. Cobie Smulders was a badass, that Falcon guy was a badass, the badass guy who fought the Falcon was a badass. Any one of these characters could have been swapped with John McClane and the movie would make perfect sense. That is how badass everyone is.

The theme of the movie, Surveillance VS Freedom Cage Match XXX, correlated a lot with what is happening in the real world. It shows insight into Big Brothering the world and whistleblowing. Americans may take more from this movie than the rest of the world but the message is internationally relevant.

With this movie Marvel has expanded the Earth elements of the Marvel Cinematic Universe. The world is now being lifted from realism into something a lot more fun. Intrigue, superpowers, super villains. This movie has it all.

If you are wondering whether to see this or the Lego Movie, do yourself a favour and see this one first.

Literature Discussion - Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde

I don't know how this is classified as Supernatural Literature. Well I do, but I disagree.

I sure hope this blog doesn't make comparisons with The Incredible Hulk

The Curious Case of Dr Jekyll and Benjamin Button is a crime drama written by M Night Shyamalan. It would have been interesting if the twist hadn't already been ruined the day I was born. The twist is that Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde are the same person. Props to doing it before Fight Club, but still, I don't care.

The 'supernatural' element is the shocking transformation that happens when Dr Jekyll drinks a concoction. So the 'supernatural' element is alcoholism. The concoction makes Dr Jekyll a cool guy that sometimes kills people. Again, drawing parallels to alcoholism.

Dr Jekyll is a lame version of Bruce Banner. He may have some friends and the know-how to alter his appearance with drugs but Bruce Banner is a beast when it comes to science. Bruce Banner is heaps smarter and has a stronger moral code.

Mr Hyde is a lame version of The Incredible Hulk. The Hulk can fight toe-to-toe with demigods and survive Nuclear Bombs. I would pit Mr Hyde's strength levels around that of a gorilla. All it would take to take down Mr Hyde is gorilla tranqs. I take back what I said earlier, Mr Hyde is a lame version of Bruce Banner as well. 

There are tons of videos on YouTube with the same shitty song and same shitty footage.

The protagonist of the novel is a lawyer named Phoenix Wright (citation needed) he tasks himself with figuring out who this Mr Hyde guy is. The most noteworthy thing Phoenix Wright does is say "If he calls himself Mr Hyde then I shall be Mr Seek". This piece of dialogue is noteworthy because the name Mr Hyde was always a setup for that terrible line. I love how it demeans the whole book.

                                           

Mr Hyde's plan is to kill Dr Jekyll so that Mr Hyde can inherit Dr Jekyll's fortune. If there is one thing I've learned from comicbooks is that there is no Hyde without Jekyll. The two share the same body. How is this guy even serious? The two share a symbiotic relationship. Imagine Spider-Man killing Peter Parker. You are both the same person, also Spider-Man doesn't kill.

In this blog I have made the book seem silly and made it appear that I didn't like it. That's because the book was silly and I didn't like it. It isn't supernatural, I suppose it is literature because of all the deviations that come from it. It isn't good. It's a crime drama with the ending ruined.

Let me know in the comments if you disagree. Your opinion is of value.

---

I have a Twitter, so follow me or else : @KrisCreedYo  

Literature Discussion - Frankenstein

I just read Frankenstein, the old book written by Mary Shelley. The edition where the doctor marries his cousin because they are European. I was surprised in how different the monster was in the source material than every other interpretation. He was yellow, didn't have bolts in his neck and didn't die in a fire in a windmill. There are a few points that I would like to discuss about the novel that might fix a few misconceptions.

He looks like this, except without a mangina.

The Monster's Name

You alway hear it. Frankenstein is the name of the doctor that created the monster, not the monster himself. What is the monster's name then? In the book he makes connections between himself and the son of God, Adam. If I compare myself to Clark Kent that doesn't make me Superman. So his name isn't Adam but I can see where the creators of I, Frankenstein were coming from. Throughout the novel the monster laments that he was never given a name, yet he knows who his creator is. I like to think that he inherits his name from his father, like Victor did from his father. The monster does not have a first name, but his last name, through inheritance from his father, would be Frankenstein. A lot of people have a problem with this, even people who have read the book, but screw it. Frankenstein is as good a name for a monster as any.

Who Actually is the Monster?

The monster is. Victor Frankenstein creates the monster in body, but does not create the monster in mind. The monster is shown as kind in it's origin but then goes around killing people. Victor Frankenstein, at most, comes to the role as a neglectful father, not a monster. Having a neglectful father does not justify going on a killing spree. The monster threatens his creator to create a mate for him so that he isn't lonely. Victor says he will but chooses not to when he realises he could be potentially be creating another monster to go around killing more people. 

Some may argue Alice Cooper is the real monster.

Frankenstein is deluded with Grandiose Ambitions

Victor believes that he, and he alone can overcome the barriers between life and death. That may seem delusional, but it was a goal for Victor. And he achieved it. The advances in medicine and technology could revolutionise how humans live. He very well may have had the best of intentions but was overcome with grief and fear. If he was truly selfish in his motives he still could have made millions of gold bricks (the currency of the 1800's if I understand correctly) off of his findings. Instead he realised he didn't want to create monsters. Victor Frankenstein is selfish, and a coward, and an idiot. If he were deluded with Grandiose Ambitions, it would probably help him out in the long run. He could afford his own security, he could buy a crossbow and shoot his monster in the head, he could treat his family to their own castles and he would benefit science for the entire race.

---

Disagree? Good, let me know why in the comments. Or follow me on Twitter

How to Thrive in a Zombie Apocalypse

Every country has its horror stories. Spain has been conquered so many times no one could tell you what a true Spaniard is (citation needed). Now imagine you are at war. Everyone you love is gone. Your values no longer hold any meaning. You can't win, the enemy is too strong, they grossly outnumber you. But you are given an out. If you can't beat 'em, you can join 'em. If you are on the losing side and given a choice between death and joining the enemy you might as well be alive and on the winning side.

Hopefully you can already see where this is going. If the entire planet is overrun by the undead and you have managed to make it that far, good on you. Kill thousands of zombies every day, live in isolation and fear. But me? See you later loser, I'm joining the winning team. As a human you have to worry about gathering food, every day, or you will starve, and die. To get food you have to outsmart legions of the undead. As a zombie, you don't have to eat. You may eat a human every now and then, or try and spread your disease, but if you don't eat literally nothing bad will happen. Zombies also don't sleep, and they don't feel fear. You could go from being a lightbulb technician to being a super-soldier that humans have only hoped for.

You would basically be Captain America

Humans are weak and prone to dying, but Zombies are immortal. They aren't you say? They can still get shot in the head and decapitated? Sure they can, but that is only because most join the ranks of undead with small aspirations. I have only given out the information to survive a zombie apocalypse. What I am offering now is the knowledge of how to thrive in a zombie apocalypse. 

Top Tips to Survive as a Zombie

1. First thing is first. You want to cover your weaknesses, and zombies do have them. The first thing to do after getting bitten by a zombie is to wear a helmet. A big, strong, durable football one, preferably with a part that protects your face. This will protect from blunt attacks from baseball bats and golf-clubs. 

2. You want to protect your neck. If you don't have chain mail armour then I suggest you get a bunch of normal chain links and wrap them around your neck. This will prevent decapitation in most situation.

3. Get as many sharp objects as you can and shove them through your body. I would recommend swords facing outwards diagonally through your forearms. Repeatedly shove sharp weapons through your arm until you resemble Wolverine or something more frightening. By having sharp, slashy weapons protruding from your body you give yourself more weapons. And frankly zombies need more weapons, all they really have are their mouths, and we covered that in step one. By the time you become a zombie humans would be pretty deadly against stock-standard zombies. By using the element of surprise you can bolster the ranks of your undead team.

4. Make some noise. By completing the last 3 steps you have become an Alpha-level Zombie. But you aren't a rookie, oh no. You are a strong, independent woman. You want to be the Zombie King. That's fine, that's why you're reading this. My personal favourite for making noise is wearing squeaky shoes. If you don't have squeaky shoes then tie dog toys to the bottom of your feet. This will make beta zombies follow you around, giving you much better attack and defense against groups of humans. If you are somewhat of an engineer you may be able to rig together an alarm that sets off if your back falls against the floor, giving you a mighty army to defend your zombie self.

Hopefully these tips makes you feel safer about the impending zombie apocalypse and I hope you try and employ these tactics to get the most out of everyone else's misery.

---

Don't think my amazing tips will help you? Let me know in the comments and I will help you out with your problems. Also I have a Twitter, so follow me or else : @KrisCreedYo  

Stick of Truth AU Review

South Park the Stick of Truth is an amazing South Park game and a decent RPG.

I've been a fan of South Park since the first season aired in Australia and I have seen every episode of it. I love it, the jokes are smart, the characters change over time, and the world continually gets bigger. The RPG format matches South Park and it is a wonder the game was not made earlier.

The game starts with the mute protagonist being ordered to leave the house and make friends in his new home town of South Park. Immediately you make friends with the local boy, Butters, and he gets you into the Human clan of a Dungeon & Dragons-esque group ruled by the Grand Wizard Cartman. For the first part of the game you spend your time recruiting factions and battling elves to reclaim the stick. In true South Park fashion the story escalates out of control leading to being abducted by aliens, shrank by underpants gnomes and travelling to 8-bit Canada to translate abortion documents written in French. The story makes sense in the context of South Park and it was genuinely a lot of fun to play through.

The aesthetic customisation you can make to your character is really deep. It would be unlikely that you could not make an avatar that does not represent you. You can choose from 4 classes; Warrior, Rogue, Mage and Jew. Each class has it's own special abilities but they all have the same stats and access to equipment. The perks barely have any influence over the game and I feel like I could have played the game to the same effect without them. There are no customisation options for your party members, they level up aside you and get access to new abilities at certain levels but you cannot change their weapons or equipment.

Aside from the 10+ hours of main story there are a load of side missions to complete as well. The quests can vary from finding collectibles to climbing The Tower of Peace and killing all the Mongorians along the way. The rewards for completing the side-quests are usually special equipment or a special summon that you can use once per day to kill all the enemies in a battle, but not bosses, they are too tough.

In the beginning you can only walk around South Park but through the course of the game you gain access to new abilities to access new areas. The battles are turn-based like Final Fantasy or Pokemon but requires some decent timing and button presses to execute attacks, abilities and defending, so the combat closely resembles the Mario & Luigi RPGs battles or even closer to the Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood also made by Obsidian. If you have the bard in your party one of his songs takes you into a Guitar Hero/DDR rhythm style minigame, for other attacks you might have to mash certain buttons. I like the battle style because you can't just mash A and still win. You need to combine tactics with precision to come out on top. That said, the battles are not too hard. If you have the right equipment and right abilities anything less than a boss will die easily enough. 

The game looks exactly like the show. I don't know what else you could want from an adaptation from screen to game. The graphics in this game are timeless. Once upon a time Final Fantasy VII looked like an amazing game, it had the best graphics you could ask for at the time, if you played it today without mods it feels really dated. In contrast, Final Fantasy VI (or III) used Sprites, and although it doesn't look photorealistic, the style makes it so that you could still play the game today and it would still feel new. South Park the Stick of Truth is 2D and it would never look real, but it is stylish and will stand the test of time.

Though there were issues for me with the sound it was mostly good. You had epic middle-earthern music playing in the town, songs from the television show played in stores, the televisions sounded like they do in the show, with Terrance and Philip playing and Cooking shows. The voice acting was top-notch, and it needed to be. If it was anything less than stellar I believe the style of the game would have been diminished. The major issue I had with the sound was during battle, your partner in battle would hassle you to hurry up. Mate, it has been 4 seconds and I am trying to find a Speed potion, leave me alone. Seriously you would get pestered to hurry up after one second. If no commands were being inputted I would understand, but if you are scrolling through menus you are going to need more than one second.

A major thing that bugged me in this game was the use of censorship. I don't point my blame at Obsidian or Matt Stone and Trey Parker but at the Australian Classifications board. The game is rated R18+, I'm 22 or something, if I want to give Randy Marsh an anal probe I should be allowed to. If I want to perform an abortion, I should be allowed to. Now I'm not saying I want to do those things, but you know, all my friends overseas are doing it and it sounds like it might be good for a laugh. Man, we got images of a crying Koala telling us what we were missing out on. I do appreciate that the game is telling me it is censored, I appreciate that it is telling other people about it being censored, people who would not have given a second thought if there were just blurs or blacked out parts of the game. It gets the message out there, but I do feel like I missed out. 

Between collecting everything, completing all the side quests and levelling up this game will take up close to 20 hours to complete. After completion you can start again and play as a different class and on a higher difficulty. I played as a Warrior and at the half-way point I had already decided that I would play through the game as a different class and make different decisions, though I'm not sure how the different decisions affect the rest of the game. 

The game is great. It holds up as a good RPG, but more importantly it transported me to a world that I am all too familiar with. I got to spend a couple of days in South Park. The game was hilarious, funnier than Portal 2. The game oozed charm. It did have it's faults but they are mostly forgiveable. This is definitely my favourite licensed game, even moreso than Spider-man 2, maybe. This is definitely my second favourite licensed game. Well this game is definitely in my top 10 licensed games. I would highly recommend it to anyone who loves the show and would regularly recommend it to anyone who loves RPGs. Also I wouldn't recommend it to anyone under 15, the game goes further with crudeness than any episode does.

All in all I would rate this game an 8 and a half out of 10. It would have got a 9 if not for the censorship.

---

If you liked this review and would like to see more then follow me on Twitter to receive up to the minute updates.

Too Excited for Godzilla

Remember the last time you saw a Godzilla movie? Three months ago when they played it on Channel 7. It was a decent movie. KFC ran a decent promotion on it, even though the toys weren't even Godzillas from the movie. What I am trying to say is, the movie was popular, it still sort of is. Matthew Broderick is a cool guy and he tried to fight a Godzilla, a cool monster.

Now I don't know much about Godzilla outside of the Matthew Broderick version but I know he is worshipped by lizards, or zillas. He was also huge in Japan and he fought other monsters, sometimes they were mechanical. I think he might have even fought King Kong at one stage, but as I said, my knowledge on Godzilla is limited.

This might have happened, also does Godzilla have a mouth laser?

I've seen Pacific Rim, I've touched on the convergence of cultures in cinema before so I'm pretty much an expert on everything ever. What Hollywood is trying to do is to create Hollywood budget movies that appeal to people that aren't necessarily Americans. Pacific Rim was more successful in the East than the West, that's fine. Hollywood is expanding it's audience, and that means people will be seeing some big-budget movies that break the mould. One of the gripes I had with Matthew Brozilla was that it was people mainly dealing with a natural disaster. Godzilla could have been subbed in for a Volcano or a Tsunami or an Earthquake. With Hollywood focusing some of its efforts towards the East maybe Western audiences will be exposed to something different in cinema. One of my hopes is that a samurai tries to fight Godzilla with a sword and manages to deflect Godzilla's punches and runs vertically up Godzilla's body and cuts him in the eye, only for Godzilla to be mostly unphased like when Superman gets shot in the eye in Superman Returns.

See that image? It's big, I made it so people could read it. Godzilla is bigger than he has ever been before. Or she, seeing as she gave birth in Brozilla. How is anyone going to fight that? Sure I'd use diplomacy to get him to be my best friend, but I'm not in the movie, except as an extra that dies in the first half an hour. But seriously, a punch can't hurt Godzilla, an army can't beat Godzilla. The only things I can think of that can beat Godzilla are Superheroes, bigger monsters and science. Which leads me to my next point.

Bryan Cranston is playing the scientist guy. As you may already know Bryan Cranston has incredible range from father with troubles to father with troubles that cooks good meth. Well he at least has the range to deal with troubles (Godzilla) and cook meth (Science stuff, Godzilla's weakness).

This movie will be amazing. It is going to iron out the flaws in the first movie and keep it closer to it's source material. It has to, surely Hollywood won't disappoint. Also for continuity I'll throw in the trailer so you can be even more excited for this movie.

---

If you enjoyed this at all and have made it this far add me on Twitter @KrisCreedYo, sometimes I do more than self promote.

Too Excited for Guardians of the Galaxy

I know, I know. 2 of the last 2 movies I have been excited for are Marvel movies. But give me some credit, Guardians of the Galaxy and The Amazing Spider-Man 2 look exciting. And what is more exciting than people with ultra powers beating on other people with ultra powers? Monsters and robots fighting each other, but it was rhetoric anyway.

Now I'm a comics guy. I love Spider-Man, X-Men and Daredevil. I know the difference between an Infinite Crisis and an Infinity Gauntlet, but in all honesty, I would not have known what a Guardian of a Galaxy was if it wasn't going to be a movie. Sure I played as Rocket Raccoon in Marvel VS Capcom 3 but I didn't know where he fit into anything. That said, when they announced GotG however long ago I did some research, and this is the movie you want. To watch. At the cinemas. Dish out and buy some expensive popcorn and a peppermint choc top.

Does anyone remember that DC movie that wasn't Superman or Batman? The one with the guy with the ring? I was excited (not too excited) to see it because I thought it would build this universe in space like Trek Wars Episode 1 Wrath of Khan. But it didn't, space was empty, the only powers in the universe were Green Courage and Fear Yellow. Ryan Reynold's character had no flaws, he had a hidden one which was fear but that was actually a strength because if you fear something you can overcome it. Cop-out. There were no mentions of Krypton (unless there was), no other powers that weren't colours and no other heroes. Superman just writing a feature article while a yellow monster thing tries to eat the planet.



In contrast you have the Guardians of the Galaxy. The five lead characters are all different. You have Chris Pratt from Parks and Recreation playing Starlord and he is right at home, none of that fish out of water cliche that every other human has in space. You have Drax the Destroyer played by Batista, and he doesn't need a power ring to go on a rampage. You have Rocket Raccoon voiced by Bradley Cooper, where the hell did a raccoon come from? There must be a raccoon planet, easy, I don't need my hand being held. Vin Diesel plays a tree, the role was made for him, perfect casting. Then you have that hot green chick that is topless in the trailer. Progress! Every character is a character, no one feels tacked on. Even John C. Reilly as a prison guy adds a lot to the movie already in my opinion.

Through end-credit scenes this movie has already been linked to Thor and The Avengers. We already know a lot about the universe, the foundations have been laid. You have Thanos running around with Chitauri somewhere. You have Asgard being ran somewhere else as well as all the realms shown in the Thor movies. There is a planet with heroes running around having adventures all the time. From the trailer we can see there is a prison for space criminals. There is heaps of room to expand, and with the Disney acquisition of Star Wars there could even be links to Star Wars.

This movie has an all-star cast of reliable actors, it shows promise for an expanded universe and it has a Blue Suede song in the trailer. How can anyone not be too excited for this movie?

---

You can follow me on Twitter and I will probably follow you back.

Too Excited for The Amazing Spider-Man 2

I've seen trailers before. I've even seen a movie or two. But this year is set to have some of the most exciting movies ever. I'm not normally one to be excited by trailers and heresay and whathaveyou but some of these movies look amazing. Such as...

The Amazing Spider-Man 2

The Amazing Spider-Man 1 may not have been the best superhero movie, hell, it wasn't even the best Spider-Man movie. It had it's fair share of problems, such as recapping an origin that movie-goers saw a decade ago, aborting plotlines like Peter's super spy parents, and fighting a bigger, stronger version of himself in the Lizard. But the new movies have Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield who are cast perfectly as Gwen Stacey and Peter Parker. The new movies were always being built to be part of a franchise and that would be the excuse for all the dangling threads in the first movie. With all that aside, check out the trailer.

Crime has had to adapt to dealing with a superhero. Super villains are beginning to pop up and team up against our Amazing hero. Just look at Electro alone. He shoots lightning bolts, that's what Thor does and Thor doesn't go around fighting Spider-Men in the movies. The odds have ramped up, Spider-Man has to deal with bigger threats. And Electro is just one of them. He also has to deal with a Robot Rhinoceros (AKA The Rhino) and a Super Villain hiding behind the scenes who knows Spider-Man's secret.

Sure, Spider-Man 3 suffered from having too many villains, but hopefully this one will be different.

There is also the mention of Aunt May hiding something about Peter Parker's past. The old thread in the first movie will actually be used. This is amazing, everyone thought the plot thread will just be forgotten, but there you go. We are finally going to learn that Peter Parker's past parents discovered a cure for cancer and then were killed by Carnage. Or not.

We have to all get excited for May to see how this movie turns out.

---

Over the next week I am going to blog on upcoming movies that are shaping up well.

Follow me on Twitter and thank you for reading.

The Man of Wall Street

There may be spoilers below for the 2013 movie The Wolf of Wall Street.

I saw TWOWS  for a mate's birthday the other day and it rocked my world. Jordan Belfort (Leonardo DiCaprio's character) is a wolf of a man. All the money is his, all the drugs are his, and all the women are his. But most of all, all the power is his. Jesus, believe me, this guy is a beast.

Through shift stock deals and manipulating the markets Belfort builds himself an empire out of penny stocks. He becomes partners with Jonah Hill after Hill quit his job in a bet to Belfort.

Now I know some of you reading this may have taken a completely different take on this movie. You could say that I am putting the character on a pedestal. You could even say that DiCaprio's character was a no-good criminal. You'd be right.

Belfort and his newly founded company of thieves robbed money from working class Americans to give to themselves. After Belfort had all the money everyone wanted it, his friends, his wife, a Swiss Banker, and the FBI. And everyone got it. And they wanted more. The correlation I would like to draw is that Jordan Belfort wanted more money, since he is the Wolf and all, but everyone else wanted more money as well. So who are all these other people? They have to also be wolves. Beta Wolves.

Throughout the movie it was shown countless times that Belmont was not a smart man, he was not an honest man. But he got exactly what he wanted. He may have lost it. But he had all the power in the world.

So, is a wolf someone that gets what they want? I don't think so. I think a man (or woman) should always try to get what they want, whether it be money or a better life. Should they do it dishonestly? That isn't for me to say, I think everyone should consider that for themselves.

------

If you enjoyed reading this then follow me on Twitter @KrisCreedYo to receive updates on new blog posts or other things.

If you know how a Google Plus works then follow me on that as well.

Sonic's redesign and how it will make Bank

Once was a time whence everyone recognised Sonic the Hedgehog as a System Mascot. Sonic was to Sega as Mario was to Nintendo. I know this, you know this. If you weren't playing Mario as a kid you were playing Sonic (or football).

Sonic was an edgy, cool looking hedgehog who could run really fast despite being a chubbo. And kids ate him up.

Pictured: A fat, blue comb

When Sega was a major player everyone knew who Sonic was. But after Sega transformed into a third party developer every Sonic game arguably tended to be on the average side.

With a string of games featuring Sonic as a knight, a manbearhogwolf and a glitch gamers did not recognise the Sonic product as a seal of quality.

Recent games such as Sonic Colors and Sonic Generations (and Sonic: Lost World? Maybe. I haven't played it but I like how the DLC has Yoshi's Island in it.) were really good. Despite these games rising above the 'Sonic is terrible' category they still both sold under 4 million units combined. Compare this to the original Sonic on the Sega Megadrive that sold over 15 million units. Sonic's recognition has been reduced to the blue guy in the Mario Olympics games and that guy who has the spring in Super Smash Bros.

But all this doom, gloom and boom does not spell the end for this spiny mammal as Sega has negotiated a deal where BigRedButton Studios take the reigns of a Sonic game. BigRedButton is made up of the old NaughtyDog employees that brought the world the Crash Bandicoot series and the Jak and Daxter series. Both amazing series by the way.

In the above video we see the first video reveal of SonicBoom. The newest instalment in the Sonic Franchise that takes place in a parallel universe from the core games. A huge difference between this new game and others is the redesign of the characters.

New Designs

Old Designs

The characters have not been altered too much. Their new designs just add flair to their otherwise outdated design. The characters all look more individual instead of the different hairstyle, different colours and slightly different shoes. The most obvious change in design in how Knuckles is now a beast. This goes in line with his character as he is supposed to be the strongest of all the characters. Having more bulk and MMA gloves with spikes on them cements Knuckles as a strong, independent Echidna.

Also Sonic has blue arms and a scarf. Which pisses off Sonic Fans. But everything pisses off Sonic fans.

Accompanying the game is a TV show set to air on Cartoon Network alongside shows such as Adventure Time and Regular Show.

Sonic is finally going to marketed towards his intended audience. With the game finally being out of Sega's incapable hands and a television show telling kids that Sonic exists this game will make bank. It may be the solid title Nintendo needs on its WiiU to actually sell some consoles.

Notice any mistakes in my blog, let me know in the comments, I'll delete the mistake and you'll look like an idiot. Also let me know how you think SonicBoom will go compared to other titles.

The Rise and Fall of Flappy Bird

The most downloaded mobile game of February 2014 was Flappy Bird. The game was published by .Gear Studios and made by Dong Nguyen. The game was, at most, a fad. Everyone was playing it either to see how bad it was for themselves or the get a new high score, or both.

On the 10th of February creator Dong Nguyen took the game off iTunes and the Google Play Store.

Reports have claimed that Flappy Birds was making $50k on average a day from ad-revenue. Anyone would be ecstatic to be making that much money a day. So why did Dong Nguyen take his game off the market?

Nguyen's Twitter feed suggest he did not take the game down for legal reasons. Some digging around suggests he took the game down due to its addictive nature.

But taking the game offline has not stopped people from finding ways to play it. There are many clones of the game such as Clumsy Bird, Flappy Bird World and Angry Flappy Bird. For people who will accept nothing but the original they can buy an iPhone with the game preloaded on it currently as low as $500AU for an iPhone 3GS.

The moral of the story is that these addicts are going to get their fix, because they are addicts. By removing the game Nguyen is not stopping people from being addicted. The only difference is that now he does not get any extra income from downloads. Nguyen has stated that he likes his life simple and does not need all the money.

What I foresee happening is that the app is only the beginning. By not letting the fad run its course the game will gain a cult-like following. Nguyen stopped the Flappy Bird train while it was at its peak of momentum, the game was only ever going to fade into obscurity over time. By removing the game people will only feel nostalgia for when it was simple to download Flappy Bird.

Within the next 2 years there will either be a Flappy Bird Documentary or a Flappy Bird Movie.

I, for one, hope its a movie.

-----------------------

Follow me on Twitter @KrisCreedYo